How to Break a Date With the Muse

If you must break a date with the muse, it’s best to be upfront about it. First of all tell her that you’re not going to be meeting her at the time you planned to. Give her your reason why.

If you’ve got a lot on your plate, all that time-sensitive grown-up stuff that we all get caught up in now and again. Tell her you’re sorry, but you’ve got all this time-sensitive grown-up stuff to do. Be very clear about this. Look at your calendar and decide when you can see her again, and tell her you’ll meet her at such and such a date. Tell her what you want to work on with her. Write it down in your calendar so you don’t forget.

If you really want a relationship with the muse, you’ve got to be kind of regular. And you’ve got to let her know your patterns, and when you can’t show up. You can be a regular binge kind of creator (you know, a hot passionate weekend with her where you go after each other ridiculously hard), or you can be a regular slow and steady kind of creator (you know, the kind of creator she can depend on). The muse likes both, and finds one just as interesting as the other.

The thing you don’t want to do, is just stand her up. You don’t want to say you’re going to be there, and then not show up. It’s not that you need to worry about the muse getting her feelings hurt. She’s very popular and has tons of people intensely interested in meeting with her, and she always will, so if you don’t show up, she’ll just go somewhere else – no problem.

The problem will be with you though. You’ll feel shame for not showing up, and not doing what you said you would. You might not be able to face her again because of it. You might think she asks too much, although all she wanted was for you to keep the date you made with her. You might even blame the muse. You might dismiss her. “Eh, she’s not so hot. I didn’t want that writing life, that sculpting life, that painting life, that creative life anyway. This time-sensitive grown-up stuff is much, much more interesting and important.”

Yeah, right.

Nobody likes a bullshitter. Least of all the muse. She does like honesty though. If you’ve been gone awhile you may have to prove yourself once more. But it’s not hard to do. Just show up and be uncomfortable. Eat a little dirt. Feel bad. But stay there.

If you think that all this time she was the one not showing up, you’re wrong. The muse doesn’t stand people up. She just likes a little foreplay. Sometimes a lot. A little flirting. She like to tease. It’s a game with her, so don’t be so anxious about it. Don’t be so eager to cross the finish line. Enjoy the agitation. Enjoy the frustration. Don’t think that being a creator is easy and always smooth. It’s not. Maybe just decide you like this lady and would like to hang out more.

But if you have to break a date (and let’s face it, we all do) be clear about it.

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7 Responses to How to Break a Date With the Muse

  1. Deana Vassar says:

    Gosh, this was just the medicine I needed today. Thank you, Nancy.

  2. Polly says:

    So wise and true. Also applicable to friends and workmates.
    Thank you for this AND for its dry humor.
    Be well.

  3. Karen M. C.-K. says:

    I think I’ve even gotten a divorce from my muse. Sad, but true.

    • Nancy says:

      I think you and your muse will get back together – maybe not right away, because maybe there’s stuff going on that needs to taken care of, but I am sure she has not forgotten you. XXXOOO

  4. Nancy, love this post and the chuckles it brought to my day as I sit here planning for 2018. I’ve struggled the last two years with blogging and writing due to health issues. I’m committed to 2018 being a better year and meeting my muse on a regular schedule. I’m making a commitment, like giving her a ring!

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